Pootin'-nanny

Originally posted in an old blog which was blasted from the web universe by

the Evil Corporate Empire in a galaxy far far away

{Monday, November 13, 2006}

Kids,

Brutally honest little devils they can be sometimes.

After having 3 kids I thought there was nothing more that they could

possibly say or do to embarrass me in public. I am continually proven wrong.

My daughter and I set out to our local drug store to buy a few of this-and-thats.

We were standing in one aisle as I was reading over the label of a snack item

to see just what I was going to be eating when I noticed we had a

potential member of an audience join us in the aisle.

Without fail, my 4 year old daughter says (quite loudly), "Mom! You pooted!!"

without missing a beat I nonchalantly answer, "Not this time darling"

"oh yes you DID!", she argues.

"I most certainly did not, that was you lil miss stink butts"

at this point she seems a bit distressed that she could not pin the offense on me.

I still see our "audience" is with us from the corner of my eye when

I am overtaken by an odor most foul.

"Gag a maggot, 'Riss! You're gonna kill someone with that one!"

Poor dear was near tears when I suddenly realize my daughter's innocence.

As I glance up to see that we are still not alone,

I see a little older lady high-tailing it around the corner.

I quickly give my daughter a hug and tell her I was sorry and that I did not think it either of us. I felt so bad for the little old lady and the embarrassment she had just endured

as well as blaming the crime on my daughter which she was completely innocent (this time).

We quickly finish our little shopping adventure and proceed to the checkout.

Just when I thought the worst was over:

My daughter is tugging on my arm as the cashier scans the last item.

"MOM!", she says in her not so whispery voice "there's the stinky lady!!"

I look up in horror and see that the culprit is right behind us in line.

I quickly swipe my card, wish the cashier a good day, grab my daughter

and our bags and quickly leave the store.

Candy bar for peace offering: .99

2 drinks: $2.49

Dove candy bar to help with my guilt: $1.89 (( i bought 2!! ))

the look on the stinky ladies face: PRICELESS!